Yo.. yo! (* Eminem hachs up spit *)
Mic check.. (My dick!)
Testing.. onetwo (* Eminem hach-spits on mic *)
Ffff-fuck.. (My dick!) My nuts..
My attitude is worse than NWA s was
I ll battle you over stupid shit and diss peopleย
who ain t have shit to do with itlike Cool J does (My tattoo!)
You see me standin outside of your buildin; screaminย
"Puffy is good(HEY!) but Slim Shady is for the children!" (WAIT!)
I look at my life in a new light -- fuck it
Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- fuck what you like
You re probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don t like rap anyway
I m just tryin to get my porno career started
Every place and event.. +Been ThereDone That+
ShitDre stuck me in a suitcase when he wentย
(* zipper sound *) "Come onlet s go!"
Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?)
Don t give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me)
and make em come to your basement and listenย
(you re gonna fuckin check this out)
Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibusย
and put yours on the owner s table (here listen!)
Lesson Four: Know you heard this before
"Hey let me get your number; I ll call you tomorrowfor sure!"
Don t act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the Withest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live
And that s the keybut when you see me on the street; I ain tย
givin you shit bitch - don t even bother askin me (get away from me)
Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I m spittin
cause I m always shittin when I m rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!)
Got a blowjob from Paula Jonesand stuffed it so far in her mouth
my balls broke both of her collarbones (OWW!)
Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah ("It s all about me..")
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillismono and gonorrhea ("You re a dick!")
And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA
Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fuckin Aaliyah
(What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I m takin a bath
Grab a handful of pillsbreak em in halftake em and laugh
White trash -- fuckin your wife in the ass ("Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!")
While you re out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass
So if I hurt your self-esteemย
and you get dissed too bad [Yo why you diss me?]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had [A big dick!]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"I can t listen to that songthat shit s too sad!"
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"He ll never make ithis wrist is slit too bad!" [Nurse! Nurse!]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play
Ain t no need to sit inside the house and hibernate
Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade
in your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (* car peels out *)
Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS
Blood drippin from itrippin your stomach like a paper mache
You talk a lotta shitbut you was never ill though
I m sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow
Tipped over some cowsjust for a joke and a laugh (MOOOOO!)
Jumped upchoked a giraffesnapped his neck and broke it in half
Wagin warswent on stage and sprayed Cage with +Agent Orange+
And wiped my ass with his page in Source (Here!)
The demon is heresteamin this year
I rip [*Mystikal s*] voicebox outscream in his ear (AHHHHHH!)
It s not a gimmick bitchit s an image I live it
Give a fuck? I don t know what a fuck is to give it
"Yeah I don t think this guy is well.." I m high as hell
I ll beat you with a live cat when I m swinging him by his tail
[* impersonating Method Man *]
I ll fuckinI ll fuckin
Lay your nuts on the dresser
Just your nutsack by itself
And bang them shits with a spiked bat
Cut your neck off and sew your head right back
And leave you like that
You just triggered the prick who just mixed liquor
Who s itchin to leave you disfigured and stiffer than Chris-topher
ReevesI was teething with strep throatย
while your mother was breastfeeding
And gave her the flesh-eating disease
I m iller than takin a hammer and beatin your knees
and walkin through South Central L.A.bleedin in jeans
(Am I a Blood or a Crip?) Wakin up the next day in breathin machines
Flashin back to being shot and repeatin the scenes
on how you just got smokedand if you do live
You ll be too scared to tell itlike a Biggie and Pac joke
So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
And when I rap about a fat bitch that you wished you had
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"I can t listen to that songthat shit s too sad"
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"He ll never make ithis wrist is slit too bad"
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
I know that makes you real maddon t it? (uh-huh)
That s rightSlim Shady (yup) Sway & Tech
Sprayin wreck (bitch)
And we don t give a heck (uh-uh)
or a damn.. or a fuck.. or a shit
So suck my motherfuckin dick
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