I used to want to take a drill to my head Let the pain out of the hole I used to want to cut the veins in my neck Cool the blood boiling my soul When I wonderedwhy my daily headaches thundered Tried to bufferpushing down the pain I suffered Mutilatedfeeling so humiliated Cannot wash the dirt off underneath my skin There was a part of me left far behind When at the age of five years old I had my innocence taken from me Emptiness would fill the hole Now a second grader thinking why I don t feel better Why I m filthywhy the hell I feel so guilty When drawing stick men of pornographic men and women Thinking all the time there s something wrong with me Everyday for three years from dawn til dusk a migraine would take me and break me And it d cripple me so much that In dreamsit d seemwith a hole in my temple that I could probably make my headaches finally go away Trephination trephination The enemy inside of me won t let me free wants me to bleed And after three years now my headaches wear off For reasons not quite to me known The acupuncture needles sticking my skin Pushed them down as far as they d go But now I m older and now inside my anger smolders from depressionto fighting Taking out my vengeance Consequencesnow I d question during sex if
Is this how it ing feels or am I faking it ? No longer the child that you left there at the bart tracks I m now at 17left in an empty blackness On drugswith thugsand thinking "Goddamn ?" I m ending up in a failure in the gutter passed out Trephination trephination This enemy inside of me won t let me free wants me to bleed Now I m older and in this man an anger smolders Now I m thinking a hole in you is what I m seeing Your depressionis the dent I kick in you in vengeance Consequences are the pain I d give to you I know that I m dreaming but in this dream I go in go through itand end it And though I d never do it I m killing youhand on the trigger - pull it Your final thought ll be a bullet in your in head Trephination trephination This enemy inside of me I m now killing to make me free.
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